searching through my mind........

Religious hypocrisy.....

2009-07-18T06:35:00.000-07:00

This is one thing that always torments me... atleast since the time I began to take intrest in it...
I have many problems with our culture,traditions and religious practices, and i do have my reasons to feel so....
Keeping in mind , how ancient our culture is, and how much it has survived and being an Indian myself.......I feel its really worrying me...
I feel in India , for every wrong people do, they give a reason "Its there in our religion/ caste"
Its from the very early days of Freedom struggle, like acts of 'Sati', 'Bal Vivah', Rules followed by the Widows...etc, for every non practical , ghastly behaviour, the back up reasoning was "RELIGION"... I feel religion is like a wheel which has been running through the centuries , and we run it ourselves, but what people forget is , we have to keep it moving, if it remains in those centuries, then it wont run alongside our values , our life, today...The problem is that people pick up the wheel from those centuries and try to move it in todays context, why not modulate , change the wheel and make it work in todays scenario...
I feel most of the people here waste (exhaust) their energy in unecessary things... rather we can use all that energy for productive work... getting a male child and killing of the grl child follows the lead in such cases...Even today,many people in India feel that this land belongs to Hindus and all the other religions dwelling here are outcast, how pathetic can it get... We still have melodramatic scenes (like hindi movies) where in a girl and a boy of different cast have great difficulties in getting married with their parents consent....... Where are we living, in the medivial times???
Why is a girl wearing a skirt categorised as "Extra modern" while a girl wearing a Salwar Suit categorised as " The cultured, good " girl...
Why do we have to face such petty categorisation in a nation which is progressing in every other aspect...
People give crores of rupees to the ganapati festival, but if they have so much money and wish to donate it , then why cant they donate it to the needy , the hungry, the shelterless, would'nt God be much happier if they do this??? Why cant they reason their own actions and thoughts???
The main problem lies in reasoning itself, here people are stagnated to the level , that they cant think outside their shell, cant make an opinion of their own , they just follow blindly like a donkey does..........Still working women are expected to take a holiday from work when their child falls sick, Why so? cant the man of the house stay back for a change??? Or does he have a bloated Ego that a woman cant earn "Bread and Butter" for the family... Why are newly married girls told not to wear western outfits and sleveless outfits ever again in their life..........Why do we judge people by what they wear and why not by what they are???
Aren't terror attacks origination from religion wars?every one is to be blamed for it.......
This is nothing but religious , hypocrisy, To any wrong you do , if you dont have a justification, give it the tag of "Its there in our religion"... and no one will question you hence forth...
I just feel what works in todays world is Humanity and not religion, just be a human being and treat others as humans too........and stop being baised about religious practices........
Thats all for now...

A few things I will always remember ...

2009-07-18T06:06:00.000-07:00

Here is a list of few things in my life which i will never forget...
Sleeping on my bed with 4 cats cozing up around me .......( I love them)
Enjoying a steamy cup of coffee , on a cold, rainy morning....
Cuddling up in the covers till the wee hours of the morning.......
A pat on the back......
A hug from a loved one...
Cooking a wholesome meal for my family... (Ocassionally, dont get me wrong)
Spending a whole weekend doing up the house...(am not a freak...:))
Watching Harry Potter, first day, first show........( I Love him too ;))
Listening to my Neice's voice on the phone........
Relishing hot onion Pakodas, and piping hot clear soup, corn (Bhutta) in the monsoons...
Trip to Tiger point at Lonavala,getting wet and watching the fog and rains take over us .........(gosh, that was really freezing cold)
Singing 'I can touch the sky' by Ceilen Dion while working on a process model.........:)
Listening to soft jazz on a lonely night.....
Watching the birds chirping in my balcony , and wishing they would not fly away from me...
Getting a 'I am always there for you' hug from my closed ones.....
Nightouts with 'P', shes my school mate, and the one who undertands me the best!!!
School days. including bunking the classes in the 10th Std..........;)
Cotton candies, Sand castles, wounded knees,multicoulured Halogen balloons, Jumping in the puddles, freshly cut raw mangoes and amla sprayed with spices...Entering the huge shoe in the Hanging Garden....
The extra 5 minutes sleep achieved before getting ready to leave for college...
Catching up with school mates, and becoming teenagers again.........
Learning to be happy even in the toughest of time, but never forgetting those who were always there for you , and with you......
Counting your blessings, Loving all those who love you........
Pillow fights with my sista...
Slient exchange of snacks in an ongoing super boring lecture...;)
Mimicry experts rock...;)
Stay away from insecure idiots, believe me , they are loosers , dont let them rub their insecurities on you....( I learnt this in my 5 years of learning Architecture)........
Thats all for now.........(coz this list might turn out to be never ending, I will keep posting though)

One should face the facts of life...

2009-06-21T01:14:00.000-07:00

Facing the facts of life means facing the realities of life, and, for most, it could be as difficult as telling the truth. Very few people can be honest and straightforward to brave the inconvenient facts of life.
All religions stress on the importance of facing the truth and the consequences of ones deeds.
For, not facing the facts means further slipping into a murky situation. This is why a hypocrite is never seen to be at ease and happy. The contradictions in life keep on tormenting him and peace of mind and happiness turns into a mirage.
The Buddha dharma, while stressing on the importance of spiritual development, emphasis on the fact that nothing but a rational attitude works. And hence, thinkers, scientists and their discoveries are highly regarded by most religious leaders everywhere.
One’s bid to face the facts of life begins at the unit level of one’s family. The Buddha says one should not ignore one’s duty towards one’s family and friends because that too is one of the essential realities of life. One has to look without to look within. Only then one can face the realities of life in a meaningful way.
The most important reality of life, however, is to see others as if they were an essential part of your own spiritual growth. You cannot reach your destination ‘NIRVANA’ until you as Jesus said ‘do unto others as you would like others do unto you’
One has to see and treat the entire mankind as an extended family and ones attitude, behavior and work should lead to others welfare. That is the purpose of life and its meaning too I guess.
Yet another fact of life is that one has to face the consequences of ones bad deeds right here and in this life. Similarly , one can also live to enjoy the bliss of nirvana if one is truthful and sincere in one’s worldly dealings.
The Buddha dharma has no ‘life after death’ theories. One gets rewards and punishments before one bids adieu forever!!!

Love at first sight!!!

2009-05-27T12:06:00.000-07:00

I recently met someone who showered me with love I had never before felt... who gave me all that i needed, who understood me without having the need to tell, who filled up the emptiness within me very easily and lovingly... who never let go off me , and I believe completey that this is one individual whose gonna be with me foever... I LOVE YOU... completely fallen for you dear...

(PS: she literally licked all my worries away with her kisses ;))

(Photo courtesy: Shenna...)

Love you Fifi, Thank you, God bless you...

Tear drops on my Guitar...

2009-05-27T11:56:00.000-07:00

Recently heard this song by Taylor Swift... and loved the lyrics...

"Teardrops On My Guitar"

Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see
That I want and I'm needing
everything that we should be

I'll bet she's beautiful, that girl he talks about
And she's got everything
that I have to live without

Drew talks to me,
I laugh cause it's just so funny
That I can't even see anyone
when he's with me

He says he's so in love,
he's finally got it right,
I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do

Drew walks by me,
can he tell that I can't breathe?
And there he goes, so perfectly,
The kind of flawless I wish I could be

She'd better hold him tight,
give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes
and know she's lucky cause

So I drive home alone,
as I turn out the light
I'll put his picture down
and maybeGet some sleep tonight

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart
He's the song in the car I keep singing,
don't know why I do

He's the time taken up, but there's never enoughAnd he's all that I need to fall into..Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see.

I dont think i believe in sacrifice though!!!

This is what made me laugh today!!!

2009-05-27T11:51:00.000-07:00

While travelling in a ladies compartment on the harbour line of the aamchi Mumbai local Train, I read this poster which was pasted opposite to my seat........ It was an advertisement of some roadside Beauty Salon.... The tag line was ..." Become a beautiful Butterfly from a catterpillar" !!!
ha ha ha, i laughed out loud reading it............Dont know what the person framing it must have thought, but whoever he/she was, had a very poor knowledge of Zoology..........:)

Why???

2009-05-27T02:03:00.000-07:00

Why is it that some times its not the condition or the context of things, its the person concerned who turns strange , who changes his mind? .............why is it that some people are lost in the world of hapiness while some other keep feeling empty from within for the rest of their life?... Why is it that some people flawlessly escape from tight spots while some are wounded for ever?... Why is it that some people dont want you to be part of their life at a particular period of time and when they return they give you assurances to last for ever??? Why is it that a few can forget things , people , memories as easily as we forget the laundry bill?.......while some are lost in the lanes of nostalgia forever? Why is it that some people love some one forever, while some others never take the plunge?... Why is it that some people are bold enough to stand for themselves against the world, while some others are just too cowardly to face it?... Why is it that some can never forgive and forget, while some have the greatest capacity to forgive some one and let go off things?... Why is it that some people love someone more than themselves and still leave them for ever giving a 100 different reasons for not being together???
Why is it that u need some one to make you happy , why is it that u always need a shoulder to cry on, why is it that the human body is hungry for touch , love and affection? Why do we give anyone the right to hurt us... Why cant we just lead our life alone deviod of any one loving us , why its love so necessary for survival??? why cant we be like we want to be , and why cant things be like we want them to be............
Why life has so many questions unanswered???...

Don’t live a whatever Life………

2009-04-14T07:53:00.000-07:00

Pondering over a lot of such issues of lately……….again penning down a few of my thoughts…………….
Just made a trip recently to Rajasthan (Jaipur)……..
Explored a new city after a real long time…..explored new culture , new civilization, new people, new language, new architecture, breathed the air of a new land………..and believe me the experience was astonishing, infact very much refreshing , and afcourse great…..:)
After landing on the desert land I realized this world is really really so damn large…..and its largeness is encompassing…….Had never felt there’s life outside Mumbai, but yes it does exist and very well too…………I was such a fool to be so narrow minded about things, about architecture, about my life, about the kind of people we describe as “CITIZENS”…….
But just visiting a new city about 950 kms away from Mumbai changed my outlook to a large extent………There’s so much new this world has to offer us , and we keep running away from all this , tie ourselves up with our so called ‘Worldly’ duties…... and miss out the joy of meeting new people in our life, I could easily sense the warmth of the people living in Jaipur, I could feel and see the respect in their eyes for fellow human beings…..I could see the love and happiness in their eyes when they fed us a wholesome meal ( at all the Hotels in Jaipur)……..the food was tasty, no doubt about it , but what made us more happy was the happiness with which they served you and asked you at the end of you meal whether you were satisfied with the taste……….never have I been asked such a question in Mumbai……….The Pink city was indeed beautiful and ornamented like a newly wedded Bride…..The minarets , like her Jewels glistening , sparkling in sunlight………..
I had so much time for introspection during my time there……….and I felt so tiny in front of those grand forts , those massive palaces , that intricacy , the precision………I was in a state of surprise to see their level and depth of detailing…………..but all the more , I felt proud of my country , its people , somewhere down the sea of the blood line, they are some one to me and I am some one to them………….I felt the fire within the heart of those people who built such grand structures during those era’s and how well they are remembered now , not by their names, but by their deeds………….They lived a wholesome life, inclusive of terrors, fears as well as the beautiful culture which manifested itself during those times………..This encouraged me to move on in my life as well………am not going to lead a whatever life like millions of others, I don’t want to get mixed up in the crowd and blur my life, neither do I want to stand out of the crowd, I want to be remembered for my work , for my deeds , not as a negligible mass which once sprawled on the surface of the earth, I don’t want to cry for my past, neither do I want to forget what it taught me, and what it cost me, We all have sum kind of a fire within us , we just need to search it within ourselves.………I don’t want to live what we all consider as ‘Whatever’…………I want to do something good to humanity while I am alive, and I will find all the ways and means to achieve it……….

The Good , the Bad and the Ugly……

2009-03-22T03:28:00.001-07:00

Was Just thinking over something for the last few days, and boiled down to this title…..We all face so many instances , incidents , happenings in our life……..
A few are pleasant, while a few are harsh, while some just don’t affect us at all…….
But still they are a part of our life………however they are, whatever they are, some make you weak , some make you strong, some make you feel like ripping your hair off…..
Some even make you feel suicidal………but what I learnt is that you have to come out of it….. coz even if you feel like drowning in the depths of darkness, the damn Sun rises every day , and it literally pulls you out of bed………….no wonder there is so much importance given in the Ancient Hindu Vedas to the purity of the ‘MORNING’…..
I was thinking about all the good , and bad things that happened in my life until now that is n the last 20 years and 10 months……smiled at some , laughed at a few of them……blessed myself for some of my decisions and vice versa…………..But what I realized is that there are not just two parts of our life………I used to just differentiate my life between the Good and the Bad…………..but it comes in more shades……..the Good , the Bad and the Ugly…………the ugly is that part which you never want to remember…..ugly is the part in every individual which reminds you of the worst you have ever faced , and we don’t publish it to every one……….sometimes not even to the ones closest to us………..I guess we all have a deep dark secret somewhere deep within us……….and it’s a secret not because its something very serious, but something that has affected and changed us co much that we don’t want to look back at it and falter again…….I am defining it as ugly because its something you never want to see, because you cant exactly define ugliness as neatly as you can define beauty…..
But all the three shades, good , bad and ugly teach lessons for a lifetime in their own sweet way………but any good bad and ugly experience in our life is never unnecessary or useless………if you analyse thoughtfully, you will realize it surely taught you something……..
I read this book recently ‘The Bridge across forever’ by Richard Bach………in that book main protagonist mentions going through different phases is life….. and write a letter to his 10 years younger self………………..imagine If you could write a letter to your 5 years younger self……….what would you write? Would you write your experiences? Or would you write about your present? Think about it……….I will also write one……..
It’s a good way for introspection!!!!!

Inspiring!!!!!

2009-03-21T06:44:00.000-07:00

Meaningful wordings from a Legend:

Life is an opportunity, benefit from it
Life is a beauty, admire it
Life is a dream , realise it
Life is a challenge , meet it
Life is a duty , complete it
Life is a game , play it
Life is a promise, fulfill it
Lief is a sorrow , overcome it
Life is a song , sing it
Life is a struggle , accept it
Life is a tragedy, confront it
Life is an adventure, dare it
Life is luck, make it
Life is life, fight of it!!!!!

Lessons learnt........

2009-03-09T21:15:00.000-07:00

In the last few days , my life had been actually torn into bits and pieces and i was trying hard to gather them all again....................but in vain i guess.......i didnt achieve what i wished , but here are a few things i learnt from my experience.....

Never take any one and anything for granted, believe me life can take a 360 degree turn any minute.....

What goes around , comes around.....

Dont believe people who show they are inocent.....

CHANGE IS CONSTANT

Do what your Brain tells you, not your heart.....

Dont take decisions in hurry and then repent in leisure.........rather take decisions in leisure so that you never have to repent them.....

Being extra honest turns out to be fatal.........

Things happen........ you have no control over them.........

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on. "

Analyse every situation and every person with a close observation.....

Never slam a door........ you may never know when you might want to go back.....

Too many cooks , spoil the soup........

Every person had his/her own personal space..........please respect and maintain it .........

Sometimes in life no single person is wrong............. whats wrong is the circumstances, time , comditions.............

Always believe that "GOD WILL NEVER LET ME DOWN"

In a relationship , theres something more improtant than love............understanding

Dont involve yourself so much with anyone that the absence of the person ruins your life........

Always keep a back up plan ready for yourself in live............. you may never know .........

Thats all for now..............will write more when i realise more

Wishing and hoping.....

2009-02-11T01:01:00.000-08:00

There's a place in the sun where all dreams come true...where my heart glows and eyes smile. Before my life is done, I will find this place.. This place where there's hope for everyone, joy in every heart.. Smilin faces looking at me lovingly..Love that's true! This world I know, is a facade but I believe that there is a miracle waiting to happen on just another ordinary day for me! Like an old dusty road, I get weary from the load...but I move on, my hope and dreams lead me... I believe!

A few of my favourite things.....

2009-02-11T00:58:00.000-08:00

Its been long since I wrote something here... I was thinking yesterday over a cup of coffee of all the beautiful things that make me wanna hope for another day in my life and penned down a few things that I truly love... Things that make me smile, no matter what...
- Rain splashing in the ocean
- The early morning Smell of Freshly Baked bread
- Daisies, Daffodils, Lilies and Larkspurs...
- Smell of Coffee Beans
- Ocean waves lashing on the shore
- The smell of wet mud... n better still, playing with it!
- A child's bright, happy, curious and hopeful eyes
- A warm cozy 'I will always be there for you' hug
- Cold winter breeze on my face.
- Sun rising from a neverending sea
- Wild horses in the meadows..
- The feeling of sand grains on my bare feet
- Full moon nights..
- Sun peeping out of the dark clouds...
- Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings
- and since this list is getting too long..the last one... the sound of heartbeat... the sound of life itself..
Life indeed is beautiful...

The Cocoon

2009-01-09T09:54:00.000-08:00

The great Greek writer Nikos Kazantzakis (”Zorba the Greek”) tells us that once when he was a boy he noticed a cocoon stuck to a tree, with a butterfly was about to be born. He waited a while, but it was taking so long, so he decided to warm the cocoon with his breath. The butterfly finally emerged but its wings were still stuck together and it died soon afterwards.
“I just couldn’t wait for the sun to complete the necessary process of patient maturation,” says Kazantzakis. “That small corpse is until this very day one of the heaviest burdens on my conscience. But that’s what made me understand what a true mortal sin is: trying to force the great laws of the universe. We have to have patience, wait for the right time and then follow confidently the rhythm that God has chosen for our lives.”

The Flame

2009-01-09T09:42:00.001-08:00

“There is a moment where everything becomes fire” says Heraclitus (a Greek philosopher). “The stars are flames … the sun being the brightest and warmer … the soul is the spark that sets alight the essence of the stars”.
The flame is the visible manifestation of the very principle of life. By extension it also portrays the divine spirit and feeds the imagination of the beholder.
The flame appears in virtually all cultures and has contradictory meanings. Indeed, if it can set alight the world it can also end with this same world. Krishna, in his eternal dance, is surrounded by flames and holds in his hand the flame that ignited the universe as well as the flame that devours all.
Now you take the floor : what do you associate with the flame?

(with help from PC)

Freedom

2009-01-09T06:31:00.000-08:00

Some relationships are hard to define… Those that you find hard to give a tag to… No one understands but you… Some make you smile and some others can only make you feel miserable… Sometimes you hate someone and would rather never look at them or talk to them, but when they call, you still talk to them like nothing has happened! Is it so tough being angry with someone and showing it to them?? Is this the reason why people drink and get sloshed..? So they can tell people exactly how they feel about them and not feel guilty about it later.. You can always blame the alcohol for everything…!!

We are running a race here, struggling to live an ordinary life, fighting our emotions each moment, polishing them, fitting them in this world’s ways, we hake so many things in our daily life too… We smile when we are supposed to and act cordial even when we don’t truly feel that way... so caught up inside our own made rules and regulations… what human and civic rights are we fighting for then? What’s more important is to fight these shackles of thought and perception of ‘Right’ and ‘Wrong’ that we have created inside us..!! They call this a century for the rebellious- for people who are entitled to freedom!! I think its time we think that over!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

2009-01-09T06:18:00.000-08:00

New Year eve has a funny thing to it! Every new year I feel that this is going to be the most romantic night for me. I live this fantasy of meeting my man. I dream of kissing my man as the clock strikes 12 and marks the beginning of a new year, silently I pray that this is the start of a new world for me.And as years pass my silent prayer goes unheard…
As years pass all my fantasies end… No more Santa Clause, No more Mail Van wishes coming true, No more Joy Birds, No more new year Prince! Its sad to have all this crash down.But, this time around I learnt something new. I learnt that while all these dreams and fantasies don’t come true, God does send me my angels, not just on the eve but all year round, Disguised Angels! These are people I meet and want to meet everyday! People who make me smile on days I decide not to! This year end I am not going to wait for a prince to come kiss me ,rather I am going to wait for that frog to come make me smile and give me all the joy I deserve. The frog I choose to ignore every year! My real angel! Totally God sent!You don’t get to choose your angels, they are simply God sent customized to your needs!
And these angels come in any form to you , and believe me they do help you out in the toughest of you times....... and we keep finding such angels in our walks of life.....so while i am on search of my guarding angels, i wish all the best to you too!!!!!

Terror terror everywhere............

2009-01-07T03:13:00.000-08:00

As i am a kind of person who loves to give an opinion on anything and everything.......... am today writting about something that has been churning in our minds since the 26/11 attack on Mumbai............
Before we all quit this subject of terrorism and return back to our daily lives.........here one last word i wanna share...........As Salman Rushdie said 'A terrorist strike is not an act of war'. I feel its more an act of provocation....... Its meant to enrage us , disturb us, make you mad...... And make you mad in such a way that you start naking every possible mistake.........and these mistakes eventually hurt us more than the gruesome terrorist attacks.........Have a look at what Osama did to the GREAT U.S, he sent a toe raggish team of the so called Jihadi boys( A** *****, if you ask me) to bring down the Twin Tower in New York, which was supposed to be a grand representation of America's power............ Since then , angry U.S has been bombing Afghanistan, and has still not found Osama instaed has killed millions of inocent civilians...........Also for some starnge reason , U.S went out in the name of fighting terror and got catght in an entirely futile war with Iraq.............just stupid ego hastles , nothing else...........
The only wa to fight terrorism is i guess by developing a JUST India, where education and opportunity do not elude anyone......and i hope our leaders focus on this more than war mongering..........
Thats all for now................
( help taken from PN)

A 'Moon Lit' night.........

2009-01-07T01:04:00.001-08:00

Am penning down(typing) a wonderful experience i had last night......................

In local terms i cant exactly say i am leading a normal persons life.................. like every night, brushed my teeth, it was an unusually chilly night compared to weather of Khargar........., i got into my bedcovers with a Richard Bach in my hand( The bridge across forever) , eyelids felt heavier in about 15 minutes of reading the book...........i got up , switched off all the lights of my room, and got back into my bedcovers.......... and to my surprise........ i saw a silvery light falling on my bed from the window............ i looked out of the window to see the sourse of light , i fet the nreighbouring building must have put up some new banners and might have put up some new lights ....................but to my amazement, it was the silvery Moonlight............... yeah it was so beautifully, falling on my bed , just like a focus light falling upon an actor in a play................

the light was calm , uniform, silvery, and in the mirror i saw the silver in my eyes too............

the bed was washed in silvery light.......... and i looked bathed in moonlight..................

for a minute, i felt the moon is very close to me................ the scene of my serene bedroom was suddenly looking so romantic and so beautiful beacause of an object so many light years away from earth........... a part of my mind told me to wake my folks up to see it too............ but my legs didnt support my mind............ as if it was for me to enjoy alone.......... as if it was just there for me last night..........as if it was there just for me , looking at the moonlight falling upon me , i was suddenly reminded of the people who love us and are very far away from us...............

we still feel the warmth of their love and shine of their blessings.............even though they are very very far away from us , and still their memory , their mails , their calls, the moon light , gets a smile on our face.................

To all you people for loving me so much............... thank you..........I love you all too...............

Possesiveness!

2009-01-04T07:25:00.000-08:00

Everyone has some things in them that are "Not Right!" Things that people call flaws. Sometimes I wonder if it is right to rate these- Bigger flaws and smaller flaws. People say that getting possessive or getting jealous easily is a flaw. I beg to differ. Why is everything put to- You need to have trust in a relationship..!! Pulleeaase! If there was no trust you wont let the guy even take you out at night! Trust is there but is it wrong to expect your guy to "Not Flirt" with other gals, while you sit waiting for him? When you give your complete self to someone, is it wrong to expect that someone to atleast keep certain emotional outbursts to you and only you? It's not like you are expecting him to give you his everyday timetable and not even like a requirement for him to call you up and let you know of each and every step he takes? No, thats where trust comes in. You trust him to do the right thing, for himself, for you and for your relationship. But when this someone gifts kisses and hugs around? For me, that's still something that'll disturb me! I accept it- I am possessive by nature but that does not mean that I am killing the guy with me. He is still living and living the way he chooses to live, I would just want him to choose me for all the intimate love he has! I don't think that's possessive!!
And you know what, no matter what people say, everyone is possessive and a little Jealous deep down! But not everyone has the courage to accept it! Why is this such a bad word?? I would love to have someone and only he gets all my romantic attention- It'll only shows him how much I care and value his love! Its certainly not indicative of any of us being low on self confidence!It will be just so wonderful to be possessive about him , and to know that hes equally or even more possesive about me......... People who are apprehensive about being possessive, need to definitely think again! ;)

What's your share in my happiness.........

2008-11-21T06:53:00.000-08:00

I was reading this book yesterday and I can't help but wonder now... We give shares of our happiness to all the people we know and whenever someone decides to not care of our happiness anymore they leave! That’s when you realize that a share of your happiness is missing! It’s like a circle that we build around us of people holding on to our happiness in their hands... But what needs to be remembered is that- it is you, at the end of the day, who give these people shares of your happiness... You need to decide how much can you trust each person with a share of your happiness! Don’t we always tend to give a major share to just one person? A person who claims to give us all the happiness in the world but never really does. And when this one person betrays you… you realize that you lost out on a huge share...
Have I been able to see the rest of the hands holding their shares at this time? They are still holding on to their shares even when you were busy ignoring them… They were still there carefully nurturing the decreasing happiness share they had... Do we realize that no matter what… We do tend to take the people who love us the most for granted? And that’s when we keep reducing the happiness share in their hands... If I could just resolve to trust the right people with my share of happiness, I know I can stay happy! I don't want to loose trust in all those other hands just because the hand that held the maximum share betrayed me… I am going to learn to trust the other hands again. That’s life! Right?

Tell me a story

2008-11-10T06:25:00.000-08:00

When I was a child, I felt that my life was a story being read by the Fairy Godmother to all the children and what terrified me most was that I knew that one day, the fairy will close the book and my life will end. Now that I have learnt my ABCs and I know that my life is not really a fairytale, there is still some truth in this belief that I once had. It does seem like a story being read to someone… Just not a story anyone would call a fairytale! Things just happen in my story and they happen when you least expect them to. People come and go...It’s like someone reading out a story where things happen just so the story makes some sense. Interesting no doubt, but Grey! I call it a 'Grey' 'cause there is nothing that is completely tainted (Black) and nothing that's completely pure (White) here... so the shade's 'grey' where things happen and are then left to human perception to place them as 'Black' or 'White'...
And so, I smile because I know that no matter how "grey" my story may be, it belongs to me and somewhere deep down I know that I make it, while some mighty force up there "shapes" it... Someday, the Fairy Godmother will close the book and stop reading... the children will sleep and my story will be forgotten...

My life's melodies.....

2008-11-10T06:02:00.000-08:00

I always have a song on my mind.. n like always..!! There’s good to it.. I like humming it over n over again.. a happy day gives me a happy song n so does a angry frustrating day… the problem comes when I associate songs with people… n believe me I do it! I actually have songs for people… songs that remind me of moments with them.. random moments… precious moments... moments of laughter...moments of pain...even moments of anger! Today I sit and think that I am probably not doing justice to my music. People come n go and in my life this happens very often (Don’t start blaming me for it now!) So when people walk away so do their songs.. Somehow I can never listen to those songs again, they always remind me of those moments and that causes so much pain that I’d rather not listen to the song… My playlist is like my life playing… With each song there’s a different chapter of my life unfolding…Chapters I have sometimes felt like erasing! You delete the song, block the person away.. But what do you do with memories? What do you do with this heart that still wants to hum the same song over n over again… Won’t people ever understand, by leaving me alone they take my melodies away… they take pieces of my life away…
not sad though am just hurt.........the snap says it all I guess.....

LIVE IN REALTIONSHIPS

2008-11-10T06:00:00.000-08:00

Live Ins… hmmmm….. Almost everyone has an opinion on this one... An increasing number of couples today prefer to live together before actually tying the knot. It makes me wonder… why would someone want to go to such lengths to test a relationship? Can testing a relationship ensure you a longer lasting happy marriage? Keeping the moral issues aside, there are a lot of studies that show that living in with your partner before marriage, first- reduces the possibility of a marriage at all and second- increases the risk of divorce!!
I am still old school on this one, I feel Love and understanding is enough for two people to feel that their relationship is strong and that they will always be together. I have been through ups and downs in relationships but I still have hope that when I am in love, I would not have to test my relationship by giving it a dry run, like some rehearsal dinner!! I think its important to marry cuz the love that we all want from a partner is not possible without both having the commitment to try to make it last. N I really don’t think two people can actually be truly committed to each other without marriage. So, that’s my thought… what do you think?

The injured kitten.....

2008-09-30T09:58:00.000-07:00

This incident nearly got me down to tears......... everyone close to me knows I immensely love cats..........At my place in South Bombay , I recently had a kitten, i used to feed and pamper it whenever i visited that place, it was a very loving and wonderful pet.......... just last night i got to know that my dad, while reversing our car didnt locate the cat sitting just behind the tyre, and that ass**** watchman didnt bother to tell him so, hence the tyre went on to the kittens paw....................... i was not present there at that time , i was in another city........... but couldnt stop a tear rolling on my cheek........... for all the times i remember the kitten bringing a smile on my face.......... Dad immediately took her to the nearby hospital , there they said she was pretty serious, hence he informed the PETA organization.................
I am still feeling sad and low about it , cant imagine in what condition the kitten must be now, how much pain that little life must be going through....................cant tell anyone about this , they might find it too stupid or kiddish , so blogging is my only honest outlet........ cant even tell it to A, he spends a whole lot of time consoling me these days , dont want to trouble him more........
Heres a post to that small bundle which is ever loving to anyone who just gives it a warm touch.........

Strange pain.....

2008-07-29T06:52:00.001-07:00

Form the title you can guess a lot, today am writing about an incident I encountered nearly a month back while waiting for a bus at Panvel bus stand…..
I was on my way back from ‘A’’s aunt, and had to wait for a glorious amount at the bus stand to get my bus for my way back home. Beside me was standing a man in his mid seventies…..he had four huge suitcases around him ( he was alone carrying them all), he looked starved and hungry, he spoke on the PCO probably was asking the address to some one , he told the person on the phone that he had not eaten a morsel since morning ,after keeping the phone down he bought two bananas from a fruit sellar standing in front of us ( that was all he could afford for a meal I guess) he stuffed those two bananas in his mouth , he relished them as if they were the best food available on this planet ( another virtue we need to learn , love every single morsel we get), he asked me about the bus timings to go to Dadar , I answered him obediently ( I felt its my duty to do so ) When his bus arrived , to my surprise , he picked up all the huge for suitcases ( he could barely balance himself) and started rushing forward towards the already full bus……………
What must be the agony of his life that at such an old age that man had to carry so much luggage and travel in the most messiest, cheapest transport available in India. I suddenly realized I had a wet cheek, I had a teardrop running down my cheek just by observing this perfect stranger for mere 5 minutes…………. I just felt so, call it bad , sad, pity , for this old man , that even I didn’t realize the pain my heart and mind went through while watching than man…………He was a stranger , I had seen him for the first time , and will never see him again, but still I shed a tear for him , still I felt the pain inside me to see some one in such a state, he was not a beggar, neither was he filthy rich, he was just a common man in our country, and his condition and the situation in which he was made me cry…………… mum says am not that great ( soft) with emotions……..( maybe at displaying them)
Then is this what I felt called ‘humanitarian feelings’?
Am yet to find an answer to it………….

Amul ads......

2008-07-28T06:14:00.000-07:00

Since i was a little kid i have alwaz enjoyed the AMUL ADS mostly the print ads and hoardings. At that age obviously i didnot understand the meaning/comment that the ad was potraying but just seeing the little boy and girl in their funny getups/costumes was enough to get a smile on my face.In 2008, AMUL ADS have NO FLASHY DIGITAL HORADINGS just the same old painted ones. Up-to-date with current issues around the world and presenting them in most humorous way and most importantly giving the RIGHT PLACMENT to AMUL BUTTER in the ad.Today when technology plays a very big part of our everyday life, the AMUL guys have still stuck to same old methods…and i guess thats what makes them DIFFERENT.

Splitsvilla or Shamesvilla

2008-07-28T05:53:00.000-07:00

I consider myself as a 20 year old with an equally active testosterone and other such related hormonal behaviour as any other 18- or 20-year-old. And yet I don’t get the intention of the fascination (some) youths have developed for an ongoing reality show called Splitsvilla aired on MTV India.To correct those who feel i dont watch the show , its not that way , I do watch it , because I love to understand various human behavourial patters , and what happens when 20 unknown girls have to live with each other for the sake of two filthy boys, to seduce those jerks (for reasons best known to them), but i guess its all going too vulgar and crappy ,the gurls are too cheap , guy crazy, desperate to touch thoes two cheapos.yuckkkkkkkk ( gals get a life) ( no normal girl like me can be in arms of an unknown guy in an exotic pool on NATIONAL TELEVISION??????????)
In a nutshell Splitsvilla consists of 20 women vying for attention of two young men. The folks behind this reality show would like us to believe that the concept of the show is the search for True Love( yeah right , i dont even have words from wher in i can start abusing you) (along with a fetching sum of Rs 5 lakh.) Each week one girl’s fate rests in the hands of the two men, who have the power to vote her out of the show.
Reality Shows today are the "in-thing" and like others, I too immensely enjoy(ed) watching many of them. However I fail to see the point behind a show such as this and that too being heavily promoted by a channel responsible in so many ways for shaping the minds of our youth.
The only possible explanation I can think of is that viewers of such kinds crave for two things – humiliation (of others) and skin show. And Splitsvilla happens to suffice both these urges. 20 something girls going all the way – from dressing low( read cheap, vulgar) to flashing their (bulbs) assets, from back stabbing to in-front of the camera ridiculing one another, from belly dancing to bathroom tub caressing – they are letting nothing hold them back.
And what makes matters worse is the reason behind such crass behaviour - two men, worth nothing. And I mean nothing. Thin, squirmy, butt ugly, all backed by high headiness – that seems to be their only qualification. Frankly I wouldn’t be surprised if tomorrow it is revealed that the boys belonged to the sponsor’s clan or the production/channel’s household. So here we have two absolute losers tossing girls around as per their whims and fancy.
Which gets me to the most important point - while the channel, viewers and the boys are having a gala time at the expense of the participating girls – is 15 seconds of fame a good enough reason for these contestants to completely demean themselves?
Not looking at it from a feminist view point, as a life lesson I believe nothing is worth more than one’s own self-respect let alone mortifying yourself on national television not once but umpteen number of times. While MTV may call their creation as ‘testing of one’s character’, I simply see it as TRP game play, being done at all costs......
I will cease watching a show which does not respect woman..........( for get the gals not respecting themselves either, pity none of them think like me...)
Thats all for now.....

Yours forever

2008-07-08T05:49:00.000-07:00

This is a very special post for a person, who has the greatest importance in my life,
Its for a young boy whose mother left him when he was merely 13 years old, who just had two pairs of clothes when he went to college, whose father never bothered to know how he felt ,who never went down to addictions to solve his problems , who wanted to become an architect but was forced to become a doctor by his father, who even after being treated badly in his own house showered them with immense love, who has the patience I haven’t seen in any other human being alive , who earned a livelihood for all of us , struggled , worked day and night , just to see a smile on our faces, who didn’t remove a pass of first class compartment when we were young , so that me and Di could enjoy rides every Sunday, who got us every happiness in the world , keeping very less for himself…………….who just told my mother to keep rice for him for dinner so that we could enjoy a wholesome meal, who even tried to be nice to his step mother, kept her in the house after his fathers death, who saw his father dying in his arms , and even after bearing so much injustice from him , still had tears in his eyes……….. who came first in class even after so many financial and mental problems at home, who scored very well at medical exams even after not liking that subject, who married my mother and made her life beautiful, who had two daughters and when people asked him ‘You have no son?’ he used to answer curtly ‘I am happy am blessed with two wonderful daughters , they will be my son’s’……..who had a smiling face, and a hand ready to pat her back when my sister scored well in board exams , who kissed her on her fore head when she became a doctor, who sat up all nights when my mum was pregnant , when she went through actopic pregnancy, who always had a hug ready and beamed when I got prizes in drawing competitions , who was very patient with me when I was low at math’s , who jumped with joy on hearing I wanted to fulfill his incomplete dream of becoming an architect…..
Even today , after scoring well in exams or achieving some thing difficult , I remember his smiling face and his embrace which was worth all the pains and effort we took……..,and i loved the freedom he gave me.........
But yesterday during dinner he suddenly spoke ‘Ashwini , I just have you with me for two more years , just two more years for you running behind me with clothes and belts , and hankys , just two more years to throw pillows at you and wake you up , just two more years that you will ask me for pocket money every morning , and chitchat with me on weekends, help me in decorating the house, pulling Rashmi’s( my mum) leg……. Just few more years of Reminding me that smiling is necessary, Shilpa went just last year , and then you…’ that’s all he said , and we all had wet eyes immediately…………All I would like to say is ‘Baba, I love you , I haven’t met anyone like you , I have known what sacrifice for you closed ones is from you, I owe most of my learning to you………..after two years , just my postal address will change , but a part of my heart will always be here , with you , remembering you and mum , if I can ever do even a tiny bit for you , it will be my pleaure………You are the best DAD atleast for me!!!!!

Things I Love.....

2008-07-02T07:47:00.000-07:00

The child in me loves………
Splash , and jump in the puddles, finger ( hand ) painting , holi, dolls, flying kisses, tiny hand , soft palms , shoft hands, creating a mess, the color PINK, a kiss on my cheek, playing in mud , wetting myself in the rains, prancing around with my mum, smell of fresh water color, raincoat, colorful umbrellas, mum feeding me food ( with her own hands), dad patting my back ,playing badminton with Di, window seat, peeping my head out of the Car window, teddy bears, irritating some one and then readily asking for forgiveness ( to say Sorry is so damn easy when you are young), sleeping in mum’s lap, listening to bed time stories from Dad, Drawing , Painting (these two things are two inseparable parts of me…) doll houses , Barbie sets( mind you I just adore them now , have kind of grown out of them but the fascination still remains…), Candies ( recently fragrance of freshly removed drawing paper, colors, Tom and jerry, Disney Channel , Fairy tales, Harry potter, Princess dairies 2…..

The Woman in me loves…….
Pizzas, Cats, Fragrance of wet soil, flowers( red, white roses), touch and feel of the beloved (I guess we all love that), dressing up, smiling, spreading smiles (yeah its important and difficult ), perfumes (my fav PETALS, by Marks and Spencer), The color WHITE , PINK, BLUE, trendy skirts, wind chimes, walking hand in hand with A (on a beach, or any location of awesome scenic beauty), freshly manicured hands, pink colored lips (thank God am naturally blessed with it), Coffee( steaming hot ), Pot Painting, Pot embellishments, Interior design, Philosophy, cooking food, mascara( I got one as a gift recently and I felt it suits me a lot), Handbags ( Courtesy- Linking road, Westside, Globus), music, people who can initiate decent and sensible conversations, Shoes ( Courtesy-Linking road, Westside, Metro , Regal), Bows ( yeah they look super cute on any kind of clothing , shoes, as well as on Teddy bears), scarves ( though I have just a few and hardly use them , but am fond of them), The feminity a woman feels ( yes, it’s a wonderful thing to be a woman , and feeling and loving it is beautiful), resting my head on A’s shoulder, helping out my mum and dad in their daily chores (yeas its wonderful being a grown up daughter , feels like being reborn altogether), watching young babies and dreaming that some day I too will have a Doll ( irrespective of the gender) in my arms, playing with babies ( I love their purity , innocence , smile , ever flowing love they bestow upon us, they make us feel the world is such a beautiful place to live in), to be called beautiful ( yeah all women love that ), to talk and talk and talk ( obviously only to the ones close to my heart, being in shape, rings ( ok this is one thing I fascinate a lot RINGS, it’s a pity we have only 10 fingers) , Internet, greeting cards, preparing chocolates, bangles, trinkets, bracelets( though I rarely wear them , but never got the occasion actually), gossiping , shopping , writing ( read blogging), newly developed interest in understanding and observing different types of CARS (not by colors , but by make and type… ), trying out different types of cuisines, decorating my house, Salsa( I need to learn it ), One piece dress ( love them , and had many opportunities to buy them , but could never dare to try one out…….. better late than never , will try one soon…), exploring new places ( all by ourself , not the Kesari travel types),to become a wonderful companion , loving , caring daughter , an able wife, a mother ( just like mum ), a protective sister , a cute mavshi……( I guess all these are various dimensions of being a woman , as a woman is a beautiful blend of a daughter, companion, wife , mother…and the list of relations goes on and am happy to be tightly held by these…….)

PS- I love you all ( my family members )

My encounter with mathematics……………towards being an architect

2008-06-25T07:39:00.000-07:00

Ok today I have gathered a lot of courage to write about the WORST thing that haunts my life like a VAMPIRE…………… yeah its MATHEMATICS………
Its my greatest fear , phobia , am out of bad words now…………….
But yeah it’s the most F@#@%$#^%%&^%$*^% subject I must have ever studied in my life , and its not left me until now, ( yeah that slimy ,slicky, lousy things exists even in 4rth year syllabus….:(…….. so tears still continue)
Since the time I remember , I was terrible at maths , I used to barely pass in this subject , but being quite better at all the other subjects , I used to get a decent report card , but the yelling , crying , bugging never stopped from this idiotic confusion of numbers, still we had Geometry in the 10th standard an I must have really got decent bit of marks due to the addition of my marks of Algebra and geometry……………
But I never understood one thing , why the F@#$%@# hell should we study those stupid integrations ,and deravitives ,and probabilities???????????????????? What am I supposed to do if some thing is raised to zero and some other stupid thing goes to infinity?????????
What do I do with it ?????? Why the hell do I need to know how many times a ball will rotate or a pendulum will go to and fro????????? What am I supposed to do with it??? Throw it out of the window???
Since grade 8 I knew I wanted to become an architect, so after my 10th std I started finding out ways and means to search for a junior college, I realized I need to follow the same curriculum like engineering and medical students?????????? Cant the government keep am more RELATED TO THE COURSE syllabus for students preparing to become Architects??? I had to study all the filthy micro organisms and mug up those ruddy formulas , but now that I sit and think about it , I feel the Educational system of India clearly wasted 2 complete years of my life, and am not the only one , so many candidates who want to become architects have to study all the stuff for two years which is not at all related to their course?????????? Theres just a Architectural entrance exam for name sake and the Multiple choice questions asked during my year were something like ‘ Whose the new coach of the Indian cricket team’??????????? How much more stupid can it get??? This is what India wants to know from students wanting to be architects……..
And after entering the 5 year full time course of Architecture I realize that its nothing what was displayed in the Entrance exam books………… so why such a negligence to such an Important course , common we make buildings we create cities………In France the greatest architect of all times is on their Currency……..LE CORBUSIER……..
But I guess Indians only want to make their children either engineers or doctors…..
And people say Indias going towards improvement…….F@#$%@# shit………

I recently read a book named ‘3 mistakes of my life ‘ by Chetan Bhagat , and I found out this interesting piece which completely echoes my thoughts have a look

‘ I positively hate maths, for me it occupies a place right up there with cockroaches and lizards. I get disgusted, nauseated, and depressed by it ( ohh so very true). Between electric shock or a maths test , I will choose the former. I heard some people in Rajasthan have to walk two miles everyday to get water. I would trade my maths problems for that walk , everyday. Maths is the worst thing ever invented by man. What were they thinking? Language is too easy? So lets make up some creepy symbols and manipulate them to haunt every generation of kids? Who cares if sin theta is different from cos theta/. Who wants to know the expansion of the sum of cubes? And for all the people who say maths is fun , then for me tooth extraction is fun , rabies shots are fun , viral infections are fun………. So very true…………. Just my thoughts though……….. all you maths lovers out there I have nothing against you ………. J

My Things to do list before I turn 25 ………… ( yeah 5 years more )

2008-06-24T10:46:00.000-07:00

1) Spend loads and loads and loads of time with mum and dad,
2) Get another degree after graduation…………( am serious about this , am graduating in 2 years)
3) Since I am becoming a mavshi this October , I wanna spend lots of time with the new addition to our family… (me and A feel the years of us being the youngest are over , we need more kiddies to play and pamper…….. PS I wanna become a mami soon too…..hope the concerned people are listening… more additions to OUR families are always better…..he he he just my thoughts though…..)
4) Learn advanced oil painting , and find out time for ceramic work………J
5) Visit all the hill stations in and around Mumbai and Pune
6) Learn to ride a two wheeler……..( yeah I still don’t know how to ride one completely knowing the fact that am gonna spend the rest of my life in Pune…..another sniff sniff)
7) Meet friends more than once in 15 days…….
8) Join a GYM……… (ok stop laughing I know am thin…….but am happy feeling that obesity is a crime ……..he he he )
9) Learn HOW TO NOT LOOSE YOUR TEMPER ……….am very bad at it
10) Learn how to cook tasty food from Aai………..( this will surely make my mum happy)
11) Burn my college once I receive my degree………….( yeah it really sucks ……remember Harappa and Monhenjodaro times…… its even more amazing during the monsoons…….we have these huge water falls in our classrooms as well as in passages and lobbies……….indeed an architectural master piece…..)
12) Learn better driving , …………
13) Learn MATHS ,
15) GO on a world tour…………..( dreaming is not taxed as yet)
That’s all for now …..

Another aspect of life….. Or perhaps watching life closely…..

2008-05-26T04:53:00.000-07:00

During my second year, I had made recurrent trips to Dharavi for Documentation of a project, and I have many incidents to write down form all my experiences in that place…..
First of all I suggest to all please read the book ‘REDISCOVERING DHARAVI’
I know Dharavi is illegal, the largest slum in Asia, the slum dwellers and the conditions of living there are root cause of maximum contagious diseases spread in Mumbai…..
But still there are Humans, just human beings like us dwelling in that place, they must be there due to numerous reasons , but still they have a right to live, right?, trying to make it their home….. A family of four people staying in a room of the size of our bathroom….. Women whose husbands have died a painful death in the 26th July 2005 rains, Dharavi is a land of many stories, many traditions, many cultures, many painful emotions….. But all we see from outside is the plastic covered, mud thatched huts, brick lined semi enclosures…. There’s much more to Dharavi than that…..
One of the incidences which completely shook me off is the one I am writing below…..
We 6 students of architecture were carrying out our documentation, Now internally Dharavi is like a small village , and you can hardly find any open land ( all you see is narrow , shady lanes) but while documenting we found a plain piece of land open , it looked as if the hut above it had been demolished….. Suddenly we saw a family of 6 people coming there with their baggage, there were shocked to see that piece of land without its hut….. We realized that it was their house (hut) since the last 10 years, the whole family had been to their native place for a week due to the death of some relative, and now when they were back , the Police had already demolished their house , the Police had obviously been bribed by some other member staying in Dharavi itself……….
But what I want to emphasize through all this is that…….. Imagine when you return to the place you call home, after a vacation, it does not exist at all……. There’s nothing in that place, and the place has been procured, demolished by someone else, there’s nothing to call home , nothing to slouch on , not even the same ceiling we see before sleeping every night…..
I know we will never experience any thing like this in life, but how must it be experiencing this??? How must be that emotion , that feeling , that anger , that frustration , that sense of loosing out on something that’s your skin ( Being an architecture student I always feel that our habitat( house) is like our second skin…. Try giving it a thought, it protects and comforts us like our skin….)
I am still dumbstruck at such a feeling…..
That’s all for now…..

‘To be Bride’ and Prejudice…..

2008-05-21T09:45:00.000-07:00

I have made this one observation since the last 2 years( since I started attending my friends and cousins weddings)………
The observation is nothing but a prejudice (the pre marriage training) which some mothers give their daughters before marriage…..
I heard my friend's (the one who got married) mum telling her, that a Mother-in-law can never become a Mother , you will have to listen to what she says , and if she doesn’t boss you around then you can ignore her and live happily with your husband (?????)
I had always felt marriage is all about increasing our family….. It’s all about getting a new set of mum and dad and what can be more beautiful than that??? I mean getting such dear ones and making them a part of our life must be the best felling (experience) in this whole world…..I had even felt marriage is not only about loving your husband but also about loving everything that he loves…..A Mother-in-law can also be a wonderful mother, after all, all relations need time, commitment, adjustments and abundant love…..
Then why does this prejudice come in between??? Why are ‘To be married’ daughters trained by their mothers to never consider her new parents as her own??? How can she be happy unless she loves her new mother and father and behaves with them as a daughter herself??? I know it will take time for them to mentally accept her as their daughter , but we all are hungry for love and affection…… and why not start happier life together with everyone…..
May be I am too young to write this , but I don’t feel my opinion will change even after some years down the line………
I feel all mothers should not think the traditional way, and let their daughter learn to live , grow and love by herself…..

Understanding 'Feminist'......

2008-05-08T10:07:00.000-07:00

Recently i had a discussion with a friend of mine about what feminist view exactly means , we both took pains of finding out for 2 whole days about this and after a discussion with her i feel much more happier to know that there are many people who do think like me.....

A large part of feminism, to me, is embracing what is, well, feminine! It's being comfortable with yourself as a woman, and offering voices to those who are not yet to that point.( i do that everytime) In this, not only women are feminists, but men as well( yeah listen all the roas side cheapos who cant supress their hormones)!
Wouldn't it be great if someday our society did not care so much for labeling things as feminine and masculine, but instead focused on allowing people to live in their chosen life paths (as long as they are not hurting others)?

I really hate it when women want to claim the right to wear pants, to have their own bank accounts, own property in their own names, basically control their own bodies and lives, but take the "I'm not a feminist but.." line. It just seems so utterly rude and disingenuous, to take all these things for granted that earlier waves of feminism fought for, but tar the title of feminist with the patriarchal "man-hating lesbian" claptrap - and for women to be fooled into doing it to themselves seems the greatest insult of all.I think feminism (as the famous saying goes) is the radical notion that women are people too. I think there are all sorts of feminisms, and it's not one massive, homogenous set of beliefs. But I think to declare oneself a feminist - to claim that title as part of your self-identity, is to declare your willingness to engage with popular ideologies (cultural memes, ideas, beliefs, expectations and embedded "that's the way it is" structures for my non-cultural studies compatriots) about gender and what we, as women (and men, too) are expected to look, act, think and be like - to think critically about these expectations, and to be prepared to reject and/or challenge them.I think that men can be feminists. I don't think you HAVE to challenge dominant ideologies in your personal choices to be a feminist - choosing to be a SAHM can be a valid feminist decision, just as choosing not to have children at all, ever, and wanting to be a CEO before you're forty.

Pleasure.....

2008-05-08T09:33:00.000-07:00

I am happy to get back to blogging after finishing a massive jury of mine..... i had a rocking jury!!!!!

I had so many things in my mind oflately that i didnt know where to begin my post and where to stop......... Last whole week was a major MAKEOVER , which took place in my life ..... you can say my life took a sudden leap( not the saas bahu ones) here leap means , theres a major difference in my life now , i am smiling , flying , laughing , glowing( my friends say that..... he he ) , i am giggling, dreaming , dancing .............. phew............. :)

But i have sat down to write this post today to write about one of my most pleasurable possesions , its the SUNSET , i know its not my possesion , but still i am too crazy about it.......

Sunset also known as KATARVEL ( in marathi) KATARVEL means a time during which our heart is the purest and our inner voice is the loudest to us..... maybe thats why I find it so mesmerising..... i am literally hypnotised by the Sunset , i just stop relating myself to other things around me and all i can feel is me and the beautiful change right in front of my eyes.........

I have read in some parts of Marathi literature about Sunset , according to that theory , setting of the sun is the purest time of the day , and its the time to sit down , relax , look back at our whole day , think , analyse.....

Strange realizations.....

2008-04-30T04:24:00.001-07:00

While pondering recently ,I realised I do many strange things (which people would think I am mad to do)

1) I like getting stuck up in traffic.....(yeah i love getting stuck up in heavy traffic , because thats the time we always remember, thats the time i can sit back and observe urbanity more closely , we never remember the time we have had a perfect day , and reached home exactly on time.....)

2) I love to have a ride on a two wheeler (knowing the fact very well that I dont know how to ride one but even sitting behind a friend is joy..... recently i sat behind a friend at 9 in the night , he had no liscence , he was rather scared ( more than me..... he he ) we almost missed clashing with a PMT bus , but i was not at all scared of his driving , or our irresponsibility ( yes even i was responsible not he alone), I was not even scared of getting late , i was just a bit worried about a 'Pandu' catching us..... that poor guy was scared because he didnt want to make me a gunie pig .......... But i enjoyed ( I am as irresponsible as him as far as this issue is concerned and its a mutual understanding that we both will never be telling this to our folks)

3) By the month end my allowance , is always more than i need and I always return the remaining home........( yeah people yell at me for it , and i really dont know where people spend money )

4) Since my childhood i have about just 5 friends in my life..... ( Not that i dont make new friends , but that happens once in 5 years..... and thanks to orkut its reduced now)

5) I read philosophy very deeply , i love reading books related to various mental and emotional situations to which human beings react..... ( and people dont believe am an architecture student)

6) I discuss many issues with my dad ( very freely ) , we discuss issues like menopause , condition of women ( suffering ) in the US military, we discuss about GOD and MAN relation , about renaissance painters , about existance of God and truth and the Universe which surrounds us , we discuss all the novels we read..........

7) I like to read in depth about various cultures and their manifestations.....( my mum says i read books which a 50 year old should read)

8) Once on my way back from school , I saw a kitten walking right in front of a car , the car was speeding unaware of the small kitten ( not the drivers fault ,the kitten was too small ), i dropped my bag and ran in front of the car to rescue the kitten ........( I dont want to be called a superwoman of any such thing, but i could not see that little thing dying right in front of me , and me going in front of the car obviously made the car stop.......... )
I again repeated this incident just last year ( unfortunately in front of my folks ) this time it was a two year old baby, it was standing right in front of the main road ( God know where its parents were) , a car was in speed , and i steppped in between ( Suddenly during such times I dont think about myself but just about the poor child ).....

Thats all for now , I will write more , when i realise more things.....

I must live my favours.....

2008-04-26T09:31:00.000-07:00

I must live all the favors God has given me today. A favor cannot be saved. There is no bank where one can deposit favors received, to be used in accordance with our will. If I do not make the most of these blessings, I shall lose them forever.
God knows that we are artists of life. One day he gives us a chisel for sculptures, another brushes and canvas, another a quill to write with. But we will never succeed in using chisels on canvas, or quills on sculptures. Each day has its own miracle. I must accept the blessings of today, to create that which is mine; if I do this with objectivity and without guilt, tomorrow I shall receive more.

Beautifully written by my favourite author Paulo Coelho

Those friendship boundaries........

2008-04-26T04:34:00.000-07:00

Another set of thoughts of my mind.............

I am writting this post about friendships that are like heaven , and everything finishes with the entry of love......... this is not the only part of what i think but still i am mentioning only one part of my thoughts in this post............
I spoke to many of my friends about this topic and even read some stuff on it , and got various opinions...........
Here it goes.............
Some one once said " Never kiss a friend. If you have deeper feelings, never reveal them.. you will lose that friend forever".
This couldnt be further from the truth for some. Here's presenting some friends who, because of circumstances didnt form a romantic connection with their 'good friends' or intetionally refused to give a different twist to their friendship.

Tarun Vazir's friends always teased him with Manasvi . his best friend. He always brushed aside the looks and taunts of people when he went out with her . But , as time went by he realised he had feelings for her . Scared of ruining a wonderful friendship , he didnt reveal this to her....
Vazir says " We had an amazing equation although we weren't in a relationship.But she meant the world to me . even she felt the same about me" . However , when he realised that he had feelings for her , he backed off, he was scared that their friendship would be affected.
Later Tarun discovered that Manasvi had a crush on him at the same time that he liked her. He laughs "I was so irritated. She seemed like the rperfect girl for me, and it just never happened. I guess we were starcrossed..."(?)
After taking this over , they relaised that they had moved on. But they remained close frnds....
One of my friends had an opinion after going through this that" Some friendships are made in heaven... when friends try to change their relationship, its just not destined to work............"

I too had faced a similar situation a few years back, in my junior college days...........
I had a good friend , lets name him (AR)......... he used to help me a lot in my studies and all and even i used to help him out in his weaker subjects , as days passed , i wont say that our friendship became stronger , but we kind of made a big group , and this big group broke down into two groups because of practical timings..........so AR and myself were in different groups , calls reduced...... and since it was 11th standard i enjoyed a lot with my gang....... yet we kept in touch..... After a year or so i got his call somewhere around midnight.......... and he started a normal conversation , thinking he had some work i continued to speak.........
Suddenly he started things like ," I love you , cant live without you , i can do anything for you"......... i told him to meet me in college the next day...........
I went to college to clear things out, he kept calling me up every hour the previous night , so i was rather pissed off...........
The next day i was just standing with a friend and AR came up , and without warning started hitting that friend of mine.......... i was shocked out of my wits.......... He started saying things like you dont have the right to stand with her ........... I called the security , thats all i could do in a struggle between two boys......... That day AR followed me till the Bus stop , i told him to go away after whatever he did to that poor fellow...........
The next day again AR stood right at the college gate..... I saw him and tried to ignore , he didnt allow that to happen........... he told me to come aside , thinking i will finish this for once and for all i went ........ that guy was idiotically insane , he told me that he had cut open his wrist for me............ I was again shocked............After a year when i got into architecture he called me up ( i was rather scared now) he asked me the same question all over again and heard the same answer..... .. It took about 3 hours and 6 months for me to get entirely rid of him............ but the incident still gives me shivers.........
I didnt know what made him do all this , my refusing him , or he hurting his ego.......... but i was rather sad for loosing a friend in him.............

Respecting womanhood..... Part 2

2008-04-25T06:16:00.000-07:00

Another search of mine , since i have a lot of time to think currently........ was just pondering over the problems faced by women travelling for work in India ( even I am one of them)

Some things, you learn to expect, growing up a girl.

You expect to confront harrassment as surely as the sun in May and the fog in a Delhi December.

When you leave the house, an invisible snake of alert suspicion will wind down from your shoulders down your back and become a clenched fist in all public spaces, through all journeys.

How optimistic you're feeling about man-kind, on any given day, determines whether you take a bus home, or just hop into an auto, or a cab, knowing you cannot really afford it. If you really cannot afford an auto some day, you will not take the bus at rush-hour.You'll let bus after bus after bus go past. Waiting is tiresome. But waiting is easier than bristling.You didn't always expect to do this, of course. One learns these things, by and by.

The below incident i found while surfing online , and thought of reframing it and posting it
What have I learnt ?
i have learnt to walk with my elbows sticking out at the waist & give a really hard shove to anyone who walks too close to me.I have learnt to scream & shout in overnight buses {where men with extra long hands think its easy fun to paw a woman (in the seat in front or at the side or when walking down the aisle) } until the conductor either gets the man off the bus or the man is humiliated in public to an extent that he will think 10 times before doing it again.Some of my aunts who would rather not bring attention to themselves, keep themselves armed with large safety pins & draw blood from wandering hands.
The problem in Chennai buses is so bad that some bus operators don't accept women travelling alone even if u r willing to book 2 tickets.So conditioned have I become to this roving hands phenomenon, that I am extremely uncomfortable on packed flights when I have checked in late & had to sit between 2 men, that I spend the whole flight literally with my arms wrapped around myself. I'm still paranoid & cant feel comfortable resting my arms on the armrests on these pokey seats. I think its time to reserve ladies seats on flights too.I havent' had a bad experience on a flight yet, but it could be because of the no-nonsense expression on my face. But yes u do have the occassional co-passenger whose head drops 2 the side when he is catching a short nap & u never know if it is deliberate or intentional so U wake him up never the less & tell him to stick to his side of the seat.

I have had worse expereinces in my earlier days. They have become almost nil now.

Whether its because :- there are younger & better looking prey available- I have a no-nonsense or I'll punch u HARD in the Face or worse in the Groin look about me.- I have become more cautious & consciously avoid putting myself into risky situations.
So in the end of it , all compromises , embarassing situations are faced by Women only........
And still we claim that we are living in a Democratic country........... a country where 8 women are raped in every 10 minutes................ where is all this going to??? will all this stop when we women start sitting at home leaving our jobd and colleges?????

The power of thought...........

2008-04-24T09:47:00.000-07:00

I have been currently reading this book name The Secret by the author Rhonda Byrne....
Though am not even half way thorugh the book I was getting engrossed withing minutes.....
here are some things i would like to write ( from the book itself, which I found intresting...)

Our thoughts are magnetic , and thoughts have a frequency. As you think , those thoughts are sent out into the Universe , and they magnetcially attract all like things that are on the same frequency. Everything sent out returns to the source. And that source is YOU...

Think of it this way: We understand that a television station's transmissions tower boradcasts via a frequency , which is transformed into pictures on your television. Most of us dont really understand how it works , but we know that each channel has a frequency , and when we tune into that frequency we see the pictures on our television. We choose the frequency by selecting the channel , and we then recieve the pictures broadcast on that channel. If we want to see different pictures on our television, we change the channel and tune into a new frequency.

YOU are a human transmission tower, and YOU are more powerful that any television tower created on earth. You are the most powerful transmission tower in the Universe. Your transmission creates your life , it creates your world. The frequency you transmit reaches beyond cities , beyond countries, beyond the world. It reverberates throughout the entire universe . And YOU are transmitting that frequency WITH YOUR THOUGHTS!!!!!

PUBLIC DISPLAY OF EMOTIONS?????????

2008-04-24T03:57:00.000-07:00

I always keep observing couples around me , or even if i see them beside me in the bus ........... i sometimes remove some conclusions , some times am amazed , while some times am dumbstruct......... not only by their PUBLIC DISPLAY OF EMOTIONS ( check out Bandstand!)
but also by their unnecessary affection , puppy like care ( come on we are all gifted with all the organs to perform ordinary functions like picking up our PURSE!!!!!)
Recently while i was returning from a trip to Pune , the couple beside me was entirely making most of their seats , the empty bus , and their hormones!!!!!
The were completey on each other ..... eowwwwwwwwww ( why cant the supress their hormones till they reach their destination)............
They were snogging uncontrolably , it looked as it the guy was about to eat that gals mouth........................ another eowwwwwwwwwwwww.............
They were making all we people sitting in the bus feel embarassed(?????)
My previous encounter was a couple on a bike ....... i was driving on the empty roads of Khargar and they zoomed past me .......... ( I am sorry but please use your imagination to visualise what they were doing )............
I had a worst encounter when , during NASA , one of our class mates and his GF had started eating from either side of the same chocolate , right in the middle of a crowd of 4000 people?????????......( do these people dont get any privacy in their homes , or hostels , or movie halls????????????)
I have been to Bandsatnd only once in my life , with a friend of mine ............
It was sunday evening and i could see about a 100 couples lined up ( like its their duty to snog each other ........) They were peace fully engrossed in themselves for hours and hours ( do they never have problems of bad breath ).......... Me and my friend were sitting like at the maximum distance from each other ( coz every one around were stuck ).......... and we were just making fun of the people snogging around us ............( he he )
I never understand what people want to prove by doing all this?????//
No one wants to know how much they can love each other , and if they cant find a place in their house , the movie theatres are always available..............
We singles have to hear it from our parents about not getting involved in such things (phew parents and their lectures)..................
But when i tell this to my friends , they tell me beacuse I am single , m just jealous ............
C'mon , even if i had a BF i would never allow such nonsense , and never spoil the Public places by such activities................... as of now by looking at these couples who are dying to get on (read into) each other , I am happy I am single and dont mind if i will always be!!!!!

Being a human first...........

2008-04-14T10:07:00.000-07:00

Recently i was standing at a bus stop in South Bombay, the buses there have a good frequency but are too crowded at times, i had to catch one of those buses to visit my friends place.........
Since not even a single bus had come since a very long time the bus stop was getting more crowded of impatient travellers.............
Every single person seemed to be in a hurry to catch a bus, since i had a whole free day , i was pretty relaxed , though i was late to meet my friend , i didnt want to spoil my mood worrying about the bus , and about its frequency ............. but i could not see a single person out of so many of the bus stop thinking like me ........ did all of them have such an important task??? is everyone other than me so damn busy that the were spoiling their brains , their mood and their day ahead because of just these 15 minutes??? cant they sacrifice these 15 minutes in order to make their day better , if they loose their temper on the bus they will just end up having a bad day at their respective offices, schools ............. did no one think like me???
i found this very strange...........
Another striking incident was when the bus finally arrived........... the busy was already moderately crowded, i saw that there was an old man in his mid 80's trying to climb in the bus , but the front door was already being filled by the people getting down from the bus , no one literally no one climbing in the bus or getting down from the bus though of helping him out????? he was having problems to even have a grip on the handle......... people getting down pushed him aside, and people climbing did the same , is there nothing called pity , sympathy in this world??? i finally left my attempt of climbing in the bus and helped him to climb the bus, ..........
And believe me the smile and the happiness i saw in the mans eyes was worth much more than me reaching my friends place ............ i was relieved to have followed my heart and helped the man out instead of just feeling pity and acting helpless............. i was not helpless beacause i could help him out whenever i wished , and the happiness i felt after helping him out cannot be described in words...............
What i conclude after all this is , isnt it important to be a human first , to understand that we can help people if we wish , and some day even we can be in the place of that old man????????
try answering me..........

Clothes dont make a man!!!!!

2008-04-04T06:58:00.000-07:00

I just saw this movie THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA………………….
Its one awesome movie…….. All characters accurately chosen.
The story revolves around a girl, her life, her ambitions, and her greed (we all have some in us I too realized it), her loved ones…….
The girl is shown at different stages in her career, the stages which are crucial in making choices which affect her for a lifetime…….

I would like to highlight some points from the movie…

1) The actress has done a good job, the script is very well written.
2) The scene where her BF tells her that he won’t mind her being a pole dancer rather than loosing her integrity, her self respect. (A bit harsh but quite true.)
3) She also becomes a hypocrite at a certain stage, and that’s where her BF leaves her.
(Yeah her BF does not exist only to snog her, he does have sensible dialogues…..)
4) Her colleague tells her that fashion is all about symbolism, about being an icon, about making your mark in the whole world through your clothes, shoes, bag (?)
5) There’s nothing more important and precious than true love…..( very true)
6) In the end , when she realizes what her dream was and where she has landed up , she had the courage to get back to her own self ( yeah , way to go girl!!!!!)
9) In the end , she even chucks her cell phone into the fountain…..( now that’s what I call quitting)
10) She was bold enough to retain her integrity back, and she was respected by everyone for it.

After watching the movie I realize that at some point in our lives , we all do become hypocrites …….. isn’t it??? We all some times so what we never like to do??? What compels us to do that??? Who forces us??? Necessity, love, society????
I am still to search the answer to this question……….
I also felt that this movie has a message and a very important one too…….
I had posted a few days back about removing the OTHER outside our body ….
I feel this girl was successful in finally behaving and living as per her principles and not as per her BOSS…….
It is important to remove the OTHER from you , but its more important to sustain our self ……… I tried removing other from me , I started expressing my feelings more openly to people around me , and it has a got a lot of mental relief and peace in my life , also I can talk to myself more honestly , more clearly , I can hear my inner voice more clearly , just by being honest to myself………And I can even see a smile on other peoples faces due to me……….. just a hope that if we all are able to live as we please , we all will live a better life , and make this world a better place to stay…….
We don’t know what is going to happen in our life , tomorrow , or even after that , so why cant we all be our selves and do what we feel like , laugh out loud, yell , jump , dance anything , do what we love the most , tell our loved ones how much we love them ,
Learn every single thing we would have loved to learn in our childhood , see everything around u s , its harmony , absorb its pleasure and reflect it back………see how beautiful the sky looks during sunset, welcome the first ray of light on our doorstep, do a good deed by helping some one …………. As far as I know , I have started living for the moment , so that only I am responsible for whatever happens in my life , and I will never regret it !!!!! I won’t spend half of my life blaming other people for deciding my life …..
Even if my wishes are not fulfilled and tasks are not accomplished , I will always be happy that at least I tried , I gave my life a chance myself………….
That’s all for now………..

A To -Do list......... for me in the vacations!!!!!

2008-04-02T03:30:00.000-07:00

I just realised i ahve too many things to do after 12th april...........
(Caution: if ur a boy read it at ur own risk, m warning you , it might contain the most wierdest things ever but then its my BLOG!!!!!)

1) Meet my sister( i dont know why am saying this but m really missing her a lot. love ya di)
2) An instant trip to Pune to get my totos home.....( two new males in my life..... cmon i am a gurl what do u expect?)
3) That trip to Pune will include going to Christophers office( hopefully if i get an appointment)
4) Some architecturally imp spots around Pune ( i am a gurl and am allowed to travel alone only in Pune.:(
5) To meet up with some friends in Pune( they are these 24 X7 busy dudes and hope they fish out time 4 me from their busy SCHEDULES..... the ones whom am talking about will understand. hint!!!)
6) Urgent visit to Colaba causeway to get myself some summer scarfs and to check out some new earings ( i had warned you about this)
7) A detailed trip to linking road, hill road( i have no good footwear left :(, )
8) the most important of all ........ PAINTING......... m gonna start painting as soon as possible, am damn sad without it)
9) Develop myself in a newly found talent( photography)
10) Working in an office ( i know sounds boring and am never gonna do it atleast till the nxt two months , wanna get far away from arhitecture....... phew what a relief painting is !!!!!)
11) Am not going to sit and crib about all the wrong things that happened in the previous academic year{ bhaad mein jaao sab ke sab.....you loosers} ( again those of you who know me too well know for whom this is written ..........)
12) POT PAINTING......... havent done it since ages...........
13) Go for TOY SHOPPING. ( You know 4 whom!!!!!)
14) Do all my pending work like pasport , liscence ..............
15) Spend some more time with my sis.............
16) Make a list about the ideal guy i would love to meet( believe me that post is gonna be much more long and boring...)
17) Get new bed covers for my room, a new soft board.......( to pin up all my timetables)
18 ) Gotta do interiors of a house in Andheri...:)yippe m gonna earn some money!!!!!
19) Try something new with my hair ( m bored with the same terrible black wavy hair.......)
20) If possible ( m damn scared) learn to ride a bicycle.........( this gives me goosebumps, learn a bicycle without falling down even once......... is that possible???ok dont tell me the answer i already know )
21) Help my dad in his clinic ( my compounder in on a holiday . sheeshhhhhh )
22) Start some research on thesis ( he he ...... dont take it 4 granted )
23) Give my sad and boring Jurys in the month of may( shya in this sweltering heat , and my college gives us a feeling that we are living in Mohenjodaro & Harappa times. no electricity for 8 hours , and no water in the gurls tiolet!!!!! can u imagine!!!!!)
( people in Mohenjodaro times were in a better state than us , we r gonna die of dehydration , coz our college doesent have theri own WATER FILTER/COOLER!!!!!!!!!....... there now you believe me ???)
24) Try to control my temper .......( he he a little bit atleast)
25) decorate my room........ m bored ofblank walls........ me and dad are gonna try experimenting with shades of pink in my room..( hope it doesent turn out scary......... and yeah i am a gurl and hence genetically pink is my favourite colour , no need to make such faces)
26) Join BCL again , and this time will do some really serious reading........... ( he he hope get time from my other contents of the list)
27) Write some more posts ...... ( now this is fun)
28) I will not go for any weddings of any distant relatives.........( and m serious about this , m not a show piece, and neither am i intrested in looking out for a guy.......... gimme a break!!!!!)

Thats all for now........... sorry for boring you ( but i had warned you)........

Truly beautiful............

2008-04-01T04:54:00.001-07:00

The incident i am to write about occured a few months back.....
I have a class mate named R , whom i never interacted with throught my 3 years in architecture..... she was a typical noisy , talkative gurl, a bit lazy about submissions, always running home at every opportunity ( didnt know why , thought she was a snob).....i had felt she was a bit loud about things and kept away from her .....
But during our landscape site study in 3rd year i happened to go to her place with my case study group(who knew her quite well)..... i had though of better opting out but had to go in the end.
We went to her place , a normal well kept house , but whoa!!!!! i saw a 4 year old boy sitting on the sofa........ i though it was her cousin or some one , but i realised that it was my friend R's younger brother.....he was born when she was in her 10th standard......... i realised that he was not a normal child but a mongolian , he was not a normal child!!!!! she already has a younger sister giving her 11th exams and this brother..... and i saw the was R was taking care of her brother, more like a mother than a sister , i suddenly felt i was so foolish to think about her previously , this was the reason she used to rush home as soon as she was free, coz there was no one to take care of her brother..........
We made ourselves comfortable at her place , and she started telling us about her brother , how their parents never told them he was a mongiolian till he was 2 years of age( when R understood it)..... till then her parents were taking all the efforts to make him a normal child, she told us all the problems her family is going through due to her brother , but yet she loves her brother ( and so does he ) we could sense her pain..... he must ahve spoilt her sheets and models , but still she manages to smile and care for him , i suddenly realised how beautiful she is. ( beautiful person ) and i was so wrong to judge her without even knowing her .....
she was loud in college maybe because maybe she never had time to smile in her house .....
she could never hang around after college hours because she had a responsibility.......
and i felt that shes the most beautiful person i have seen at this age..........
she never even mentioned to any of our professors about her problems at home , about her final sheets getting spoiled by her brother about the reason of her lagging submissions , she always stayed a different person at college and a mother at home............ i just feel i have learnt a lesson .......... never to judge people without knowing them well.......................

No time to stand and stare... really???

2008-03-31T03:52:00.001-07:00

Just a couple of days back, i was waiting at a bus depo to catch a bus bck home..... CBD depo is a very mushy place , with all poultry shops , xerox centres , vegetable sellers, literally surrounding the place....... the poultry workers take their BAKRIS out for a walk right from the depo irrespective of the already crowded bus stops......... so the bakris must have adapted to the depo as their second home ( literally)....... also the depo serves as a dumping ground (garbage rack) for all the shops around(including poultry left overs...... yuck).... so most of the males attend their natures call there!!!!! .......... now coming to the point........ i saw a man standing , his face downwards towards the ground exactly below the garbage rack........( i mean he was literally standing of the garbage rack nd looking downwards) after looking a lilttle more i realised that man was vommitting..............and suddenly his phone rang , must have been an imp call coz he was talking on it and vommitting at the same time............ the sight was really deplorable..........
and that man spoke of the phone , then again started vommitting.................
what i realised from this incident is that, have we become so dead busy that we dont even have time for ourselves??? that man looked like any other man , just in a bad health condition.... but seriously was the call so important , that he had to stop himself ( knowing that its very difficult to stop a vomit and very difficult again to remove one)............. have we become so ignorant towards our body???................... m still thinking................

2008-03-31T03:46:00.000-07:00

Be like the flowing river,
silent in the night.
Be not afraid of the dark.
If there are stars in the sky , reflect them back.
If there are clouds in the sky ,
remember , clouds like river are water.
So , gladly reflect them too.
In your own tranquil depths..... Manuel Bandeira

liked this poem ...... so thought of posting it!!!!!

Respecting womanhood.......

2008-03-28T09:48:00.001-07:00

I have many issues regarding the state of respect recieved by womanhood in todays world..... and though of some reason nd exactly the origin of the baised nature towards femals in our country.....
I felt the problem started from Ramayana and Mahabharata itself........
Giving due respect to both the greatest hindu epics, having read both quite well for a number of times .....yet m a bit unhappy about it ..........
In Ramayana......The problem with Lord Ram was that he couldnt trust hid own wife( some1 whos as pure as Sita) he felt his citizens were more important than his own wife??????
How could the great Lord Ram ( the most ideal figure in this universe do this??????) Why couldnt he nd Sita both give the AGNIPARIKSHA , rather than her giving alone???????
Why was feminity always tested ????? does Ramayana want to prove that a Woman has to obey her man blindly ( while a man doesent need to prove himself)....... so this is where the male female differenciation started??????????
Also in Mahabharata ..... A husband gambles his wife in a GAME????????/
Is she an object????? why cant she be given a respect as an individual??????//
And the worst of all is the VASTRAHARAN?????? How could they disrespect womanhood in such a manner????? in fornt of thousands of people Draupadi was made to undress...........
I agree that Lord Vishnu saved her ....... but what about her 5 GREAT HUSBANDS?????
none of them could save her???????
and still my grandmothers wants me to read these epics and follow their ideologies???????/
I dont know what these Epics proved ( as far as respecting a woman was considered).........
just felt so though...........

How one thing can contain everything....

2008-03-28T03:34:00.000-07:00

A short story i read ...
There was a meeting in the house of SAO PAULO born painter based in New York. The people were talking about angels , alchemy . At one point i try to explain to the other guests the alchemical idea that each of us contains the whole universe and that we are , therefore , responsible for its well being. I struggle to find the right words , but cannot come up with a good image to explaing my poitn of view.
The painter , who has been listening in silence , asks everyone to look out of the window of his studio.
"What can you see"? he asks
" A street in Greenwitch village" some one replies
the painter sticks a piece of paper on the window , so that the street no longer can be seen; then with a pen knife he cute a small square in the paper.
" and if some one were to look through there , what would he see"?
" The same street" comes a reply.
The painter cuts several squares in the paper .
" Just as each of these holes contains within it the whole view of the same street , so does each of us contains in our soul the same universe"
....................

Few things i came across in the last few months...

2008-03-28T02:21:00.000-07:00

In a few books of Paulo Coelho i found some thought provoking stuff...... so felt like sharing...

" We suffer because we feel we are giving more than we recieve. We suffer because our love is going unrecognized. We suffer because we are unable to impose our own rules."

"True love is an act of total surrender"

A man runs into an old friend who had some how never been able to make it in life. " i should give him some money" he thinks. But instead he learns that his old friend has grown rich and is actually seeking him out to repay the debts he had run up iver the years.
They go to a bar they used to frequent together , and the friend buys drinks for every one there. When they ask him how he became so successful , he answers that until a few days ago , he had been living the role of the OTHER.
"what is the other"? they ask
"the OTHER is the one who taught me what i should be like, but not what i am. The OTHER believes that it is our obligation to spend our entire life thinking about how to get our hands on as much money as possible so that we will not die of hunger when we are old. So we think so much about money and our plans for aquiring it that we discover we are alive only when our days on earth are practically done. And then its too late.
"And who are you"?
" I am just like every one else who listens to their heart , a person who is enchanted by the mystery of life. Who is open to miracles , who experiences joy and enthusiasm for what they do. Its just that the OTHER afraid of disappointment , kept me from taking action".
"But there is suffering in life"? one of the listeners said.
"And there are defeats . No one can avoid them . But its better to lose some of the battles in the struggle for your dreams that to be defeated without ever even knowing what you are fighting for".
"Thats it"? another listener said.
"Yes thats it. When i learned this . I resolved to become the person i had always wanted to be. The OTHER stood there in the coener of my room, watching me , but i will never let the OTHER into myself again , even tough it has already tried to frighten me , warning me that its risky not to think about the future.
"From the moment that I outsed the OTher from my life, the DIVINE ENERGY began to perform its miracles.....

How PERFECT are we???

2008-03-28T02:12:00.000-07:00

Recently have been hearing a lot of discussions about being a perfect daughter / son, having a perfect life, a perfect husband, perfect children, a perfect career…………..
Where does this end? I mean why do we always want to be what we can never be? How can we remain as we truly are if we enter this battle with ourselves (the battle of being perfect)…..why are people related to us always desperately seeking for perfection? Our parents , our friends , our teachers and even we ourselves are searching perfect people to suit us …………while thinking about this I remembered a worker (labor) I had seen a few days back , was carrying his son on his back (he was going to have lunch coz I could see the Tiffin he was holding), he stopped on noticing a puddle of water, right in the middle of a road….. (probably the puddle of water must be containing dog droppings , cattle walking trough it as well as cars showering water on passers by) and that man stopped , washed his hands in that puddle , his son washed hands too , and then they sat at the corner for lunch………..
What surprised me was ……. Such people are so far away from the world we live in , the world consisting of germs , diseases ….the world having people watching us (what would any1 say if they saw me near that puddle), that man was poor and humble enough to respect water in any form available on this earth….. Not thinking of the consequences…. Not knowing if he will even survive after having his meal, but his demands with life are very momentary I feel…and that’s how he teaches his son too , not through words but through his actions……..and I don’t know why but I felt the man completely perfect in spite of whoever he was…we loose living for the moment while thinking about 10,000 different consequences for simple things…… and still we are not happier and satisfied with our four course meal , even after washing our hands with mineral water.. We are nowhere near that poor labor who’s living the way he feels.....

FRIEND-SHIP and beyond......

2008-02-11T04:58:00.000-08:00

I hav this big question in life..... what does friendship exactly mean..... not the hindi film type meaning indicating 'ye dosti hum nahi todenge' nd all those shitty things. Since the last 3 years i m trying to analyse different varieties nd categories of people who r in a really good frndship wth each other( m not talking specifically abt any gender). But what my observation is that friendship is nothing but a relation of SYMBIOSIS..... meaning existing with each other due to dependency for food or shelter........... i mean to be very literal friends only exist because they are dependant on others for their submissions, or exam revisions, dont hav the capacity to exist alone nd be an individual and above all to be cool wth a group of idiots around u ( just to signify ur persona)..... i am yet to see a friendship wthout any selfish reasons behind it.......nd those people who r very famous in their gang ( which means they hav too many friends, whom they must b hardly meeting once a year or so nd they r his frnds just bcoz he pays their food bills) is a complete WANNA BE ..... nd those ppl hav frnds who r ready to dump in their individuality nd their opinions nd think like all the 30 around them are thinking..... why cant someone be an individual and think differently even if a gang around him consists of fools..... what fear do people have to be left out alone????? why those who stay alone harassed ..... called mad??? why cant they have a stand in life and why cant they hav a right to express thenselves as ALONE if they like it ????? why do groups hamper ones natural behavious???
i mean in Chakde movie..... the first half of the movie explains us how important it is to be an individual ...... while the whole of the second half explains us to be an individual but at the same time to also be a part of a TEAM!!!!!
why cant it work in our practical... real life?????

Intro......

2008-02-11T04:42:00.000-08:00

Hi ... well this is my blog....... or more like i call it - my mind space. I learnt this shortform 'intro' during my first year in architecture..... to start with i felt this is the best place to resurface my thoughts , opinions and a point of view towards things , objects, ppl and everythng below the sun..... we had a chapter in 10th standard named 'A matter of belonging' nd i had liked its subject as such...... so i too felt like starting with the same name ..... i am here to pour in all my thoughts abt various situations we undergo nd react in our normal day to day life...... as well as some unusual incidents i underwent [unusual for me maybe]......
so here goes.........